I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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