Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
