Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
He passed out mid-signature
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
