we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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