I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
