I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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