it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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