What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
