How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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