i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
