Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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