awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Randomize
