Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
