if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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