Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
