Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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