Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
