I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
