I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
