The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
