Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Randomize
