I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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