Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Randomize
