is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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