I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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