you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Randomize
