beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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