my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
