I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
You have to summon your inner elephant
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
