It's Friday. Sex?
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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