I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
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