What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Randomize
