Cold hands, warm shart.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
