My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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