i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
