butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
