i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
