Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
