I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
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