Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Randomize
