your room smells of hookers.
And success
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
