I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
