Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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