I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
