It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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