saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
