Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
