Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
