Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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