You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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