Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Randomize
