Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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