we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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